Six Weeks After Choosing Yourself
Several weeks ago, Gieselle Allen and I facilitated a workshop called Permission to Prioritize Yourself.
Together, we explored something many people deeply long for yet struggle to practice: giving ourselves permission to take our own needs seriously.
Not just intellectually.
Not performatively.
But genuinely.
We talked about the version of ourselves we hope to become, our “future selves”, and how caring for ourselves today is often an act of care for who we are becoming tomorrow.
Now that some time has passed, I’ve found myself wondering what has stayed with people since the workshop.
Sometimes it looks dramatic and visible, but often, it arrives quietly.
It might look like:
pausing before automatically saying yes
noticing exhaustion sooner
resting without immediately justifying it
speaking more honestly about your needs
feeling discomfort after abandoning yourself in ways that once felt normal
recognizing how often you’ve been surviving instead of living
These moments can seem small from the outside, but internally, they matter deeply. For many people, prioritizing themselves does not come naturally. Especially for those who have spent years caregiving, over-functioning, shape-shifting, people pleasing, or carrying responsibilities that taught them their worth was tied to how much they could hold for others.
Choosing yourself can feel unfamiliar and sometimes even uncomfortable. And yet, discomfort does not always mean something is wrong.
Sometimes it means something old is being interrupted.
One of the questions we reflected on during the workshop was: “What would your future self need from you right now?”. I want to offer that question again as an invitation toward curiosity and compassion.
Maybe your future self needs more rest.
More honesty.
More boundaries.
More softness.
More support.
More space to exist outside of survival mode.
Or maybe your future self simply needs you to believe that your needs matter too.
Six weeks later, I hope you’re continuing to practice that belief in whatever ways you can.
If this reflection resonated with you, and you’re wanting support as you learn to prioritize yourself, reconnect with your needs, or move through patterns rooted in anxiety, self-doubt, or chronic overextending, therapy can be a space to begin that work gently and intentionally.
In my practice, Soulful Harmony Counseling, I work with high-achieving women, particularly Black women and queer women, who are longing to feel more grounded, connected, and aligned within themselves.
You can learn more about my services or schedule a consultation here:
